Resolving Problems

Catch yourself before solving your children's problems.  When a problem arises between siblings and one or both come to you to solve it, stop yourself.  Practice using some of these phrases:

1.  "You have a problem.  Have you thought about how you are going to solve it?  Remember, you can't solve a problem by creating a problem for someone else."

2.  "You must make a plan.  Here is a pencil and paper.  When you have figured out a way to solve this you may get up from the table."

3.  "Are you asking me to fix this or can you fix it yourself?  If I fix it, these are some of the things I will do."  (Name at least 2 different ways to solve the problem.)  Then, let the children decide what they will do.  Never fix for children what they can fix for themselves.

Discipline With Purpose, Inc., 1997